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Joke of the Day

"How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident? As many as it takes /r/jokes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)^^^"

"Why did the KKK member fail his calculus class? Because he didn't believe in integration."

"Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn't hear you the first 100 times."

"""That's what she said"" is a really versatile joke because you can put it anywhere That's what she said."

"Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 2.) prisoner of war beard 3.) homeless person beard 4.) wizard beard"

"Watching too much porn gave me unrealistic expectations of sex I really thought it would happen"

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old? Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window"

"Why are asprins white? Because they work."

"There's a good chance Dr. Phil has jerked off to the Domino's Pizza Tracker."

"""Kumail. Kumail. K. U. M. No. M. Just write Jason."" - me right after ordering coffee"