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Joke of the Day
"""Kumail. Kumail. K. U. M. No. M. Just write Jason."" - me right after ordering coffee"
Next Joke
"Pyramid schemes... Wrong on so many levels"
"locked my keys in my car outside of an abortion clinic the other day. It turns out they get really pissed when you go in and ask them for a coat hanger"
"Why did the rancher vivisect his daughter? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . He wanted to reverse cowgirl."
"Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calendar? they each got 6 months"
"What do you call a philosophical priest? A deep friar"
"What did the the physiatrist say to the electron You have a lot of negative energy built up"
"How can you tell if your wife is dead? [NSFW] The sex is the same but the dishes pile up. Didn't make this up, credit goes to the morning show I was listening to this morning."
"What do you call a dirty Jew? Alive."
"(God creating coyotes) God: Make them look like dogs. Angel: Exactly like dogs? God: But with a meth problem."