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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He used to lie awake all night wondering if there was a dog."

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"Saw that new ""Legend"" film at the weekend... It was Kray Kray...."
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"i can confirm that Somali pirates have intercepted my shipment of 20,000 glossy 8x10 headshots and are using them for vile purposes"
"I'm starting a career by putting bombs in prayer mats I think prophets will go through the roof"
"Why doesn't Santa have to pay for parking? Because it's on the house."
"I stopped fighting my inner demons; We're totes BFFs now."
"There is really no easy way to say it, ma'am, but your son has just fallen into the Eyjafjallajokull."