93679

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He used to lie awake all night wondering if there was a dog."

Next Joke
 
"I looked around for hours, trying to find a Nude Beach. ...but they were all clothed."
"Wat do you call the entrance to a whore house? A Hodor"
"How tall does the grass grow in Germany? Nein feet tall."
"me: [comes running down the stairs with a baseball glove] robber: why are u wearing a glove me: I meant to grab my bat lol robber: lol"
"Next update: Twitter will tell you what the retweeter is feeling as they retweet your retweet. And what they had for breakfast."
"How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie."
"I got a taxi home tonight.... Driver said ""that'll be 7"". I said ""could you reverse back a bit I've only got a fiver""!"
"What do you get if you flip a Mississippi family's photo album backwards? An episode of The Biggest Loser"
"9 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."