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Joke of the Day

"Next update: Twitter will tell you what the retweeter is feeling as they retweet your retweet. And what they had for breakfast."

"Satyrs are awesome. The top half of a man. The bottom half of a goat. It's a dream come true for Gay Muslims."

"Locked myself out of my office 3 times today if anyone's looking for a responsible adult"

"I am no Joker But I know who he is."

"When girls or any women ask you ""What?"" In reply, it isn't because they didn't hear you. Its because they are giving you a CHANCE to CHANGE what you just said."

"Where do psychopaths shop? In sainsburys *i understand that if your not from the UK this joke probably won't make sense, or it's just not funny*"

"What do you get when you eat Peanut Butter with Baked Beans? A fart that sticks to the roof of your ass."

"Guy brings a giraffe into a bar... The giraffe passes out on the floor and the bartender says ""hey, you cant leave that lyin there."" The guy says ""it's not a lion, it's a giraffe."""

"Q: ""What has an IQ of 42?"" A: ""40 Marines plus their lieutenant"""

"What did the little boy with no hands get for Christmas? Cancer."