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Joke of the Day

"I got a taxi home tonight.... Driver said ""that'll be 7"". I said ""could you reverse back a bit I've only got a fiver""!"

"When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike... Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me."

"I keep my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. Easy! It's right next to the sage."

"What do Hitler and teenage girls have in common? They both use chemicals to remove the polish."

"What's a pedos favourite key? A minor."

"A small blue garden bird made of mahogany. It would be funny if I had a punchline.. Wooden tit."

"So I proposed to my girlfriend at a funeral today. She wasn't happy. Apparently I killed the mood."

"A student asks another student, ""How many zeroes does your salary have?"" He responds ""One"" ""In which currency?"" ""Any :("""

"A leper gave me the finger the other day I was upset, but I still did the right thing and gave it back"

"What did the Jew say to Kim Kardashian's booty? ""Isreal?"""