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Joke of the Day

"me: [comes running down the stairs with a baseball glove] robber: why are u wearing a glove me: I meant to grab my bat lol robber: lol"

"I'm actually not funny. I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking."

"Here is a joke about sausage: Nevermind. It's the wurst."

"Was giving a door counselling. We didn't get anywhere at first but he soon opened up to me."

"A Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy walk into a bar Bartender looks up and says ""get the fuck out of here"""

"Feed a man corn and he eats for a day. Teach a man to grow corn and he kills you and steals your land."

"[after lover's spat] ME: Honey. Lamb chop. Sweetie cakes. HER: You're just naming foods. ME: Pumpkin. Muffin. HER: ... ME: Zucchini bread."

"Perfect example of good & Bad luck Wind blows a girls skirts high (Good luck) At the same time dust falls into the boys eyes (Bad luck)"

"Smoking cures ham."

"I don't know how to act my age I've never been this old before."