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Joke of the Day

"""Dad, I don't feel good."" ""Do you want to go see the doctor?"" ""Yeah."" ""Are you gonna throw up?"" ""Maybe."" ""OK. We'll take your mom's car."""

"Where is the best place to buy computer software? Washington C.D"

"A Joke I Thought Up in Stats Why didn't the scientist tell his colleague the t-value of a test with 21 degrees of freedom and a p-value of 5%? It was a t-crit! Thank you and goodnight!"

"""We had to let him go. He was only pulling 15 times his weight."" - Corporate ants."

"A baby of few hours old is third in line for the highest title in the UK."

"Me: excuse me, but I can't taste the alcohol Clerk: all smoothies are non alcoholic here. Me: YOU SHOULDN'T CALL YOURSELF A BAR THEN!"

"ME: I give you all my love and infection. HIM: Um. Don't you mean love and 'affection'? ME: ... HIM: ... ME: You should get tested."

"Make sure you get your ham early for Christmas... Because thanks to Putin there will be no Turkey left."

"Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus and a recovery room where they have clear print."

"why shouldn't you fart in church? you'd have to sit in your own pew."