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Joke of the Day
"What's black & blue covered with blood? The 12 year old in my trunk that faught back!!"
Next Joke
"Dream carefully, because dreams come true."
"I totally understand how batteries feel... ...because I'm rarely ever included in things either."
"It's easier to compliment a woman when you're traveling with a toddler. ""Son, say hi to the beautiful lady with the piercing green eyes."""
"What does an asshole and a nine volt battery have in common You know it's a bad idea but your tongue is going to touch it"
"""911 what's ur emergency"" This guy's not breathing ""Did u send him ur vibes?"" Yes I been sending em ""I'm sending some too"" Okay he good now"
"*text message* Cat: Slave, I'm missing a box. I had 2 & now I have 1. I blame the dogs. Find it. Me: but I'm at work. Cat: find it."
"So a celebrity fired a gun at someone today She was a shooting star"
"You know what they say about big feet... Big socks."
"how did the gamete get rich? because sex cells... Thank you thank you i'll be here all week."