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Joke of the Day

"Make sure you get your ham early for Christmas... Because thanks to Putin there will be no Turkey left."

"I asked my North Korean friend how it was there He said he couldn't complain."

"did you hear about the constipated mathematician? he worked it out with a pencil.... a number two pencil"

"Is there a way to make a hamburger do the Hula? Sure order a burger and a shake!"

"What's the difference between a prostitute and a member of ISIS? One sucks and makes you explode, the other explodes and it sucks"

"What do you call a group of people in charge of renewable energy for a town? A solar panel."

"9: What did that message on the TV say Me: It said, the film has been modified to fit our screen 9: How do they know what size TV we have?"

"How to talk to a good girl and bad girl When you talk to a good girl, ask 'How are you?' When you talk to a bad girl, ask 'How much are you?'"

"I should become a bomb specialist... It's a booming industry. Heh."

"Hey girl.. you ready to [loudly toward the door] TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL *roommate sends in R/C truck with a bunch of condoms taped to it*"