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Joke of the Day

"Gave my German friend a hit of my joint... He said, Danke."

"Never let your children play in an orchestra. Too much sax and violins. * Credit to maxwell bot."

"As a child I was absolutely terrified of weather forecasters ..until I realised they weren't to scale."

"I keep thinking I'd like for my girlfriend and I to have a threesome But then I think ""I have enough trouble pleasing one woman, let alone some dude too."""

"A group of dogs walk into a University. They approach the receptionist who says, ""Hi, can I help you?"" ""Yeah,"" one of the dogs reply, ""We wanna see our Masters."""

"Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor? For hare care."

"Q: When is a pig not quite a pig? A: When it's oink-ognito."

"Why does Wally (Waldo) always wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted! I'll let myself out."

"It's nice to know that even people who are running for President are shitty at answering ""What is your greatest weakness?"""

"When I was younger, I always heard of people getting robbed at gunpoint. If there's been so many robberies, why do people keep going to gunpoint?"