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Joke of the Day

"Never let your children play in an orchestra. Too much sax and violins. * Credit to maxwell bot."

"It's so expensive ""How much do the potatoes cost?"" - ""2.50."" - ""And the bag?"" - ""The bag is free."" - ""Ok, give me the bag."""

"Her: wanna dance? Me: I'm never gonna dance again Her: why? Me: guilty feet have got no rhythm Her: ? Me: sorry, I'm old...*Fml*"

"What do you get if you take the red circle off a Japanese flag? The French flag."

"A couple of tampons are sitting on the bathroom counter A pair of condoms walk in and one says to the other: ""I think we have an in here"" the other replies: ""nah mate, they're both stuck up cunts"""

"The number One day,i saw a girl whose Facebook name is 70.Because of curiosity I added her.Until i have done with her and her name changed to 71, i know what her means."

"What did one lesbian vampire say to another? See you next month."

"Why do women always say they want a man with a stable job? What's so glamorous about cleaning up after horses?"

"Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Listening to an antijoke."

"Working for sanitation truly is a thankless job Not only do you have to take your boss's shit, you have to deal with everyones"