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Joke of the Day

"I just saw two really large spiders dancing to some 1980s music. I think they were Duran Durantulas."

"American... .. history"

"I was going to start my diet today, but as it turns out pizza still exists, so..."

"A farmer walks into his wife's bedroom with a sheep.... And says ""This is the pig I'm fucking."" His wife replies ""That's a sheep you fucking idiot!"" And the farmer says ""I wasn't talking you!"""

"I like mixing laxatives and nitrous oxide on a regular basis, but it's OK... ...I only do it for shits and giggles."

"explosion Where did the little girl go after the explosion? Everywhere."

"DM: I'm 10 inches. Wanna chat? Me: omg guys, a fetus just messaged me!!"

"Equally cool alternatives to air guitar: Air slap bass Air harmonica Silent pig auctions Balloons hitting people The letter Q"

"I don't like when they use ""late"" to describe a deceased person. It's like give a guy a break on his attendance, he's dead."

"I was at the gym last night and I noticed a hole in my trainer big enough to put my finger in... Now I'm banned from the gym"