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Joke of the Day

"A farmer walks into his wife's bedroom with a sheep.... And says ""This is the pig I'm fucking."" His wife replies ""That's a sheep you fucking idiot!"" And the farmer says ""I wasn't talking you!"""

"You've got a face even an Instagram filter couldn't fix."

"What do you call 4 lepers in a jacuzzi? Stew"

"Dr. Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding competition... ...and discovered that he'd gravely misunderstood the objective."

"Your face... ...looks like it caught on fire and somebody tried to put it out with a hammer."

"how do you catch a unique cat? unique up on it. (im sorry)"

"[Rips bong] Each Disney Princess represents a deadly sin! Jasmine, Greed. Mulan, Pride. Ariel, Envy. ""Snow White?"" Um. [Rips bong] Vegan."

"Two forks... Two forks were flying and one of them crashed. You know why? Because forks can't fly. Two cows were flying and one of them crashed. You know why? He got a fork in his eye."

"Trump is blaming Sanders supporters for the violence at his rally because you can't truly be Hitler until you blame a Jew for your problems."

"Clothes are just, human shaped blankets."