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Joke of the Day

"Equally cool alternatives to air guitar: Air slap bass Air harmonica Silent pig auctions Balloons hitting people The letter Q"

"Be sure to empty your pockets before doing your laundry You could get in trouble for money laundering."

"Did you hear about the girl that failed her sex ed class? She got the D"

"The Vietnamese hooker who works next to the asbestos factory always says, ""Ooh, me so thelioma."""

"My doctor gave me a prescription for anti-depression meds but my Bartender is having a hard time reading his writing..."

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. ~What is your sin, child? My husband and I are arguing ~That's very common. ...about my boyfriend."

"How to annoy your children: Me: Don't come in here without knocking Child: Ok *leaves* *knocks* M: Who is it? C: It's me! M: Go away"

"Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because the parrots-eat-'em-all"

"What do you call an Irish guy with no arms and no legs hanging out on your front porch? Patio Furniture."

"Yo momma's so dumb... ...she voted for Trump."