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Joke of the Day
"DM: I'm 10 inches. Wanna chat? Me: omg guys, a fetus just messaged me!!"
Next Joke
"A Cannibals's Dinner Party If a cannibal is throwing a dinner party, don't show up late. Otherwise you'll get the cold shoulder."
"How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just pass a law against light bulbs and then wonder why it's dark."
"Two protons walk into a black hole..."
"When I was a kid I prayed every night for a new bicycle Then I learned the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness instead edit: woohoo #1"
"Made the mistake of letting my east coast newspaper freeze on the steps this winter... I've fallen on some hard Times."
"My son: ""Dad what's a douche bag?"" Me: see that guy sitting with his friends wearing a Bluetooth?...."
"If you have 99 problems... ...you're a math textbook."
"Why do rapists make such great salesmen? They don't take no for an answer."
"How many cancer patients does it take to change a light bulb? 1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was"