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Joke of the Day
"DM: I'm 10 inches. Wanna chat? Me: omg guys, a fetus just messaged me!!"
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the pirate porno? All hands on dick!"
"Joke from my sociology prof ""I'm sorry"" and ""my bad"" mean the same thing... unless you're at a funeral"
"What do the Syrian refugees and water have in common? They both keep trying to get on our shores...."
"[boardroom] ""Now hear me out. They're Teenage.."" Ok ""Mutant.."" I like where this is going ""Ninja.."" Noun me, Graham! ""Turtles"" You're fired"
"Two bucks are squaring off in a field in the middle of hunting season. One says ""Let's do this, I'm game!"""
"should I get a ""hummus"" tattoo in Hebrew and Arabic?"
"Gonna teach a bunch of old white guys the word ""bae"" so teens stop thinking it's cool and it goes away forever."
"What did the scientist who got attacked by sodium chloride say? That's a salt!"
"joe: siri address me as poopyhead siri: okay poopyhead *obama enters* barack: joe have you seen my phone? joe: yep here *runs away giggling*"