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Joke of the Day

"For once my family is going to have a Happy Thanksgiving. This year I'm stuffing the turkey with Prozac."

"Yo mama's so fat, even Dora cannot explore her!"

"Q: What did one mountain say to the other mountain after an earthquake? A: It's not my fault."

"I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me."

"[1st date] Waiter: Can I get you a drink ma'am ? Me: Wow really bro right in front of me?"

"What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around here while I go on ahead."

"I used to date an electrician but we had to break up... There was just no spark."

"A Russian walks into an Ukrainian bar... And farts. The Russian says, ""I'm sorry for Putin."""

"There are 4 stages in life 1)You believe in Santa Claus 2)You don't believe in Santa Claus 3)You are Santa Claus 4)You look like Santa Claus"

"In principle, I can stop drinking, the thing is I don't have such a principle."