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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Kim Jong Un? Kim Jong Un has control over his country."

"A girl has to get in bed before 8 p.m. so she can come home at 11."

"It might be a sign you have a drinking problem when the cashier at the liquor store asks if you own a bar."

"A gay and a lesbian are going to the airport. Who gets there first? The lesbian. She got there lickity split while the gay guy was still packing his shit."

"How do you get a fat girl into bed? Piece of cake."

"Recording on an Australian tax help line If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2."

"The Titanic was a German philosopher... It got famous for sinking."

"Why can't you have multi-story buildings in China? That would be wong on so many levels!"

"What did the knife say to the pretty lady? Nothing, she knew what was coming..."

"Kendall Jenner walks into a restaurant, the concierge greets her by saying 'Good evening, Miss Jenner.' She responds 'Please, call me Kendall...' '...Miss Jenner is my father.'"