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Joke of the Day

"The Titanic was a German philosopher... It got famous for sinking."

"I hate when people try to make small talk on the elevator. ""How's it going?"", ""How about the weather?"", ""Where are your pants?""."

"Hillary Clinton's recent case of pneumonia just goes to show There's only one candidate who can dodge a draft."

"Do you wanna play lion tamer? she asks: ""What is that?"" you say: It's when you get on all fours and I put my head in your mouth."

"I recently switched from Wells Fargo to a credit union... ...my banking got much simpler - bye all accounts."

"""Nurse, I need 10 cc's of fluid, a scalpel and 100+ retweets about this kid from a celebrity on Twitter. STAT!"" - 2013 doctor"

"Whats the difference between a jeweler and a jailer? One sells watches and one watches cells."

"How are Clinton scandals like Pokemon? You'll never catch them all."

"How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? The question is irrelevant, because as soon as the first angel steps onto the head, the tip will rub against the ground, making it pointless."

"I doubt anyone's actually ""dying"" from seeing a cute baby picture on FB, but we can always dream."