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Joke of the Day
"I ejaculated into my girlfriend's eye today... But to be fair, she should've seen it coming."
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"[Testing Cat-Human Translator] Scientist: Cat, what is your name? Cat: I AM KANG THE DESTROYER Owner: It's not working. His name is Socks."
"What starts with 'M', ends with 'arriage' and is a man's favorite thing A miscarriage"
"What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire"
"Q: What does a blonde answer to the question ""Are you sexually active?"" A: ""No I just lie there."""
"The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. ""Six please"" she said ""I could never eat twelve!"""
"""Oh my god, you've gotten so fat! Want me to make you something to eat?"" - my mother"
"discontinue use and talk to your doctor if you experience death, as this may be a sign of a more serious condition."
"I saw a chameleon today.......he wasn't very good at being a chameleon."
"The pen is mightier than the sword. Also, parking a car in someone's living room sends a pretty damn clear message too."