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Joke of the Day

"What starts with 'M', ends with 'arriage' and is a man's favorite thing A miscarriage"

"""Daddy, I was just in the bathroom peeing, nothing else. That's all, so you don't need to look."" - my 6yo, not sounding at all suspicious"

"We just got a fax. At work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick."

"You might be a hipster if... Friend: Did you see that <funny cat picture> on reddit's frontpage? Me: Naah, I don't subscribe to all the big, popular subreddits."

"Why did the man throw away all the new pennies he had? Because they were a nuisance (new cents)."

"I had so much sex... and I was so sexually drained, you could say I was fucking retarded."

"What do you call Batman when he ditches church? Christian Bale"

"What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies? Bingo."

"What happened to the octopus in the football game? He had tentackles."

"My wife left me because ""I am addicted to video games"".. I was so sad I could hardly console myself"