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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire"

"Hi, I'm your son's teacher, Ms. Frizzle. Funny story, your kid is dead and inside a tortoise"

"A guy noticed his friend was late for work... ""Where have you been?"" he asked. ""To my mother-in-law's burial."" ""Then why the scratches on your face?"" ""She kept resisting, that old fart."""

"Can me and you go out sometime? ""No, your grammar is too poor"" Ok wow, my gramma broke af, but what that got to do with us?"

"FOX NEWS: ONE WINTER STORM DISPROVES GLOBAL WARMING BUT MORE THAN A BILLION PEACEFUL MUSLIMS ARE AN EXCEPTION TO THE RULE"

"So a guy walks in on his daughter masterbating with a cucumber. ""SICK!"" he said. ""I was going to eat that.... Now it's going to taste like cucumber."""

"Sorry I called you a drunk, but in my defense, I didn't think you'd remember."

"**I am undecided about abortion** On the one hand I support it because it is killing children. On the other, it gives women a choice."

"Do you know why Parisians only have a single egg for breakfast? Because in France one egg is un uf."

"Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To see he's flat mate"