19668

Joke of the Day

"Q: What does a blonde answer to the question ""Are you sexually active?"" A: ""No I just lie there."""

"What did the knife say to the pretty lady? Nothing, she knew what was coming..."

"[Politics] Why can't Ben Carson help fix America's problems? He's a neurosurgeon, not a proctologist."

"Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes harmonica."

"I can't help but feel important when someone says there's a special place in hell for people like me."

"I like my bourbon the way the Chinese like their women... 11 years old and mixed up with coke."

"That feeling when you think someone's smiling at you but it's actually directed at someone behind you is the way I feel all the time"

"Bernie has a fucked up Campaign Slogan. As a Jew, why the fuck would his campaign slogan be ""Feel the Bern""? Love the guy, best canidate, a bit flawed and optimistic. Don't kill me bernie bros."

"What does a feminist pick up from the post office? Their femail"

"Instructions for falling down the stairs: Step 1, step 6, step 7, step 8, step 12."