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Joke of the Day

"My husband gets so cranky when I come home from the pool with only a fraction of the kids I left with"

"Amazon Prime would be a good title for a Wonder Woman movie."

"When I was 12 years old, my Dad approached me and said ""Son, do you know anything about sex?""... I said ""Sure Dad, what do you wanna know?"""

"How do you make soup gold? You put in fourteen carrots."

"Under Bush we had 3 Shrek movies. Under Obama we had 1. Can we really trust a president whose #1 goal was to bring down the Shrek franchise?"

"What do you call a singing laptop? A dell"

"Football legend Michael Owen has announced he's releasing a new fragrance It's going to be called ""My Cologne""."

"Why do people say ""To be frank..."" when they're about to be brutally honest? WHAT IF FRANK LIED!? WHAT IF I WANT TO BE MARLENE!?"

"Is it racist that I think all of Tyler Perry's movies look alike?"

"How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? ask them to pronounce unionized"