203518

Joke of the Day

"Under Bush we had 3 Shrek movies. Under Obama we had 1. Can we really trust a president whose #1 goal was to bring down the Shrek franchise?"

"Claustrophobic people are interesting Because they always try to think outside of the box."

"What do you call a person who teaches you how to fart? A tutor."

"Kids want a dog, told em I can only keep 4 things alive, them & the plant. If we add a dog something will die & I cant be sure its the plant"

"i know i'm getting old because i'm grumpy, i sleep early, and the devil appears with an empty hourglass whenever i shut my medicine cabinet"

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better get some support or people are going to think we are nuts."

"I fan speak a little French I'd like to bon appetit (bone a petite) Edit: can not fan"

"The only thing I want to ""portion control"" is my time spent at work."

"The greatest harbor on Earth can shelter not a single ship... It is truly without pier."

"A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. He orders a beer."