190103

Joke of the Day

"When I was 12 years old, my Dad approached me and said ""Son, do you know anything about sex?""... I said ""Sure Dad, what do you wanna know?"""

"Why did Uhuru get mad? Because William Shatner."

"What is the name of an annoying creature that is notorious for biting humans in the tropics? Luiz Suarez."

"""You seen my cell phone?...What's it look like? Like two horses fucking. It's a phone, son. It looks like a phone."""

"I called the urologist's office for an appointment for erectile dysfunction The girl at the desk (checking the calendar) ""ok, let's see if we can get you in.."" I said, ""exactly."""

"Did you see the porn circus? It was fucking intense."

"I drink Rockstar cause I'm a rockstar. My wife drinks Monster."

"Why did the rockstar turkey get kicked out of the concert? Because he tryptophan."

"coining ""twoosh"", a contraction of tweet-swoosh. It's when your tweet hits exactly 140 characters sans editing. Nothing but net."

"Tell the dude at Starbucks your name is Poison Coffee, and when he calls your name, fall out of your chair onto the floor."