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Joke of the Day

"I like to make intense direct eye contact with the person in the vehicle next to me at a stop light while I pick my nose."

"Joke about jokes. I've never told this joke, but I have written it once."

"I just want to be important enough that someone unexpectedly puts a cup of coffee in my hand, which I gratefully accept with only a nod."

"What's red and loud? A skinned baby in a bag of salt."

"What should you do when life gives you melons? Get tested for dyslexia."

"A cannibal in the jungle passed his brother. Think about that."

"Melanoma victims hate it at first... ...but it grows on them.^I'm^sorry^..."

"Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two but the job never gets done --- they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!"

"On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?"

"Did you hear about the man trapped in a nun's body? His name is God."