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Joke of the Day

"What's red and loud? A skinned baby in a bag of salt."

"Yesterday, I got a fortune cookie that said: ""Help! I'm stuck in a cookie factory!!!"""

"Friend: I need your advice. Me: Wear less eyeshadow. Friend: I meant about my love life. Me: Friend: Me: Friend: Me: Wear less eyeshadow."

"""Make it look like I live in a Cheesecake Factory."" - NBA players to their interior designers"

"How strict is the ""I licked it, it's mine"" policy? There's some things I've licked that I don't want."

"Relationship status: My wife calls me her chauffeur because I drive her nuts..."

"Girl are you the legendary Pokemon Mewtwo? Because I've been playing with my balls all day and you're nowhere to be found."

"What does a perverted cow do at night? Beef Jerkey"

"The jerk store called? But, that jerk store burned down ten years ago... on this very night"

"If Beethoven's music had base in it... He would be basethoven."