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Joke of the Day

"I hope Prince Harry and Emma Watson last because if they have a son, it will be the half-blood prince."

"I wish I had the confidence to just randomly sit on people and start bathing myself like my cat does."

"Why do SCUBA divers fall backwards out of boats? Because if they fell forwards, they'd land in the boat."

"A Nun, a Priest, and a Rabbi walk into a bar... The bartender looks up and says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"Me: I know it hurts, but you'll learn to love again. Sheep: I don't know. I can't even look at ewe right now."

"This guy named Bill keeps sending me letters Says I owe him money or something"

"Preparing my wedding vows in the form of a poem... What rhymes with ""the way you shake that ass?"""

"What do you call a botched circumcision? A total rip-off."

"Saw Harry Potter. *SPOILER ALERT* ZERO tits."

"Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight... Hoping to get a PS3 in return."