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Joke of the Day

"I wish I had the confidence to just randomly sit on people and start bathing myself like my cat does."

"horsing around I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go into the bedroom and horse around, she said nay. I guess she just wasn't in the mood."

"What kind of appointment is always at the wrong time. Dis appointment"

"Why did the sasquatch go on a diet? He didn't want to be Obeast."

"What do you name a girlfriend you haven't had for a long time? Palmela Handerson"

"How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it."

"I became an atheist when I found out there was a religion that prohibited bacon."

"Fridge My fridge has been acting weird, I guess it's bi-polar."

"Hey plastic surgeons, breast implants with squeaker toys in em. Get on that"

"[crumpled up paper on floor] *tries to flip it up like hacky sack* *tries to flip it up...* *tries to flip...* *tries...* *leaves it*"