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Joke of the Day

"Why did we use guns in world war 2 against the Germans? We could've used Frebreze, it kills 99.99% of germs anyways."

"Happiness is like peeing in your pants ...everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth."

"How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go ride a bike?"

"Why didn't Ronald McDonald like to go fishing? Because every time he did, he'd catch a whopper."

"What kind of bees give milk? Boobies."

"When beer and cheese isn't the answer... Change the question"

"A portmanteau is when you combine 2 words to make 1 word. A great example of this is Groupon, a mixture of grey and poupon."

"This bloke in the pub last night was boasting that when he orgasms, he ejaculates up to a pint of semen at a time.I found that a bit hard to swallow"

"I asked a librarian for a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat... She said it rang a bell but she didn't know if it was there or not."

"Why did the nun always go to the same bar? Habit"