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Joke of the Day

"The fridge is a clear example that what really matters is what is inside."

"Any writer can be a ghost writer if you kill them"

"Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad to be alive? I just did and I won't be allowed on this airline again"

"May god bless German engineering, Italian cooking, and English humor. And may god damn Italian engineering, English cooking, and German humor."

"What is a homophobe's favorite fruit? Cant-elope."

"I learned 10 jokes about clickbait today. But I won't tell them. You wouldn't belive number 7 anyway."

"My son's method of Laundry: If it's clean it's on the floor. If it's dirty then it goes on the floor over there."

"A Pixar movie about Marlin trying to put his son through fish college called Funding Nemo."

"What's the difference between a lobster with breast implants and a dirty bus stop? One is a busty crustacean, the other is a crusty bus station."

"Came up with this joke this morning in the shower. I took a tour of a prison for poets, at the end the warden asked what I thought of it. I said it has its prose and cons."