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Joke of the Day

"Came up with this joke this morning in the shower. I took a tour of a prison for poets, at the end the warden asked what I thought of it. I said it has its prose and cons."

"""Wanna hear a joke?"" ""Alright then."" ""What's the difference between a toilet and a fridge?"" ""I don't know,"" ""You're disgusting."""

"One day I bet bullets will be replaced by flowers, and guns will probably be replaced by something that fires flowers with deadly force."

"So a guy calls into work and says, ""I can't come in today, I'm seeing spots."" ""Have you seen a doctor?"" ""No, just the spots."""

"I can turn anything into a boomerang just by throwing it straight up"

"I tripped in front of Stephen Hawking. He lol'd."

"Does Hitler have a favorite number? Hitler: Nine."

"I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house."

"I Tried to Purchase Some Camouflage Clothes But I just couldn't see myself in them."

"My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle."