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Joke of the Day

"1. Change last name to Crunch. 2. Join the military. 3. Work my way up to Captain. 4. Become Captain Crunch. 5. WIN LIFE"

"How do you start a rave in ethiopia? Tape a piece of toast to the roof."

"Big Brother: That planet over there is Mars. Little Brother: Then that other one must be Pa's."

"Hi, welcome to Necrophiliac Club. Who wants a cold one?"

"What's the best pun at a wood working convention I just got lathed"

"I like my sheds the way I like my strip clubs... ...dark and full of hoes"

"People tell you to make yourself at home but then look confused when you drink their liquor and take a nap in the kitchen"

"They say that if you are bad in this life, you re-encarnate into a 'Nickelback' song in the next one."

"What's the best part about sex with a 5 year old? Watching them break down on the witness stand."

"Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris."