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Joke of the Day

"They say that if you are bad in this life, you re-encarnate into a 'Nickelback' song in the next one."

"I know what it's like to be pulled back from death and appreciate life more since I dropped my cell phone in the toilet and it still works"

"Where does a powerful king keep his armies? In his sleevies!"

"Pretty fed up with the fact that pandemonium almost NEVER involves pandas."

"What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable? The Wheelchair."

"<--Goes to gym 3 times a week... Cannot separate two shopping carts stuck together at grocery store."

"What are Holocaust Deniers celebrating timorrow? The Fourth of Jew Lie!!!!"

"Man next to to me just said into his phone ""You caught me in the middle of a sandwich."" He's lying. He is not in a sandwich."

"My wife likes to tell me she is worshipped in india... She's a fat cow."

"Smart golfers always wear two pairs of pants in case they get a hole in one."