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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris."

"Two men were sitting in a canoe in the middle of the desert... One man says to the other, ""where's your paddle?"" to which the other man replies, ""sure does."""

"What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves? Your mom."

"My head feels like something Picasso would have drawn."

"""Baby, I'm in the bedroom waiting for you"" Now I got your attention, let me show you a proper way to make the bed."

"*early humans discovering sleepiness* noooo!! what is this, im shutting down? dying??? *waking up later* wow, i love that. gonna do it a lot"

"Did it hurt when you fell? Into the toilet, you piece of shit?"

"What's the difference between a yoghurt and the USA? If left for 400 years, the yoghurt will develop a culture."

"I love my wife dearly, but she just used the word ""whatevs"" for the first time, so 17 years. It's been a good run."

"2 Part Fish Joke What did the fish say when he ran into the wall? Dam. What did the fish's friend say when he ran into the wall? Dumb Bass"