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Joke of the Day

"What's the best pun at a wood working convention I just got lathed"

"Who came up with hugs? The very first hug must have been really creepy. ""What are you doing? Why are you holding me?"" ""Just trust me."""

"Though he came from a long line of spoons, Sammy Spork always noticed a slight resemblance to Mom's friend Frank, the fork living next door."

"I made a model aircraft. I wanted it to be an unpainted smooth finish wooden aircraft. So I made a plain planed plane plane."

"My left butt cheek was hurting pretty bad earlier, so I asked my girlfriend to massage it for me. I told her... that I didn't want it half-assed."

"You know what they say about guys with big cocks.... They need a big coop and pen to keep them in."

"Did you go to the cellphone's wedding? No but I heard that the reception was great."

"It's too tight Girl: It's too tight! Boy: Don't worry, I'll do it slowly Girl: Push it in! Boy: Ah, I can't... Girl: It's painful... Boy: Forget it. I'll just buy a new wedding ring"

"You can't trust a mule with an important task. They'll just half-ass it."

"I used to be in to S & M, Necrophilia, and Beastiality... But then I realized I was beating a dead horse."