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Joke of the Day

"How man hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's an obscure number, your probably never heard of it."

"Me: my fitbit broke Sales Guy: how Me: i put it on my dog's tail and asked him who's a good boy Sales Guy: if i give you a new one can i see"

"A new nightclub has just opened down the road and they are offering free drinks all night for just under 20 quid. So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 19.99."

"I thought I felt a spider crawling on my neck. Now I have to pretend I was breakdancing at this bank."

"What's the difference between a freezer and a woman? A freezer doesn't fart when I pull my meat out."

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."

"What happens when a plant is sad? The other plants have to photosympathize with it"

"Everyone says soda is bad for you... but OJ will kill you."

"Where does the Joker keep a record of his favourite shrubland areas? Heath Ledger."

"What do Muslims do before a jager bomb? Press the button"