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Joke of the Day

"Me: my fitbit broke Sales Guy: how Me: i put it on my dog's tail and asked him who's a good boy Sales Guy: if i give you a new one can i see"

"Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock? Because it's a little meteor."

"Want to hear a joke? Bacontaco"

"""Mom! I'm going out!"" - You're not leaving this house until you change that miniskirt - Why not? - Because I can see your balls, Richard."

"Sorry I have been gone for the last two days, my son had a quick story to tell me"

"Did you hear about that celebrity who committed suicide? Reese whatsername? ""Witherspoon?"" ""No, with a knife!"" Only really works if you actually tell it to someone (and can maintain a good pokerface)"

"Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? No? He didn't either."

"How did Warren Buffets company survive the economic meltdown? It's a trade secret, but don't worry, Berkshire Hathaway"

"I was watching Jersey Shore the other day when I thought... I didn't know I had animal planet."

"I would tell a joke about Jehovah's witnesses... But nobody likes knock-knock jokes"