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Joke of the Day

"ME: If home is where the heart is, I guess I live under a canopy of bloody bones. DMV WORKER: I'm not putting that on your license."

"Bestiality is disgusting and wrong. Having said that, I did once come on a mouse."

"If I had $1.00 for each person I had sex with, I would pay my rent But just because I'm currently homeless"

"Poor Susie! Q: Why couldn't Susie ride the swings? A: Because she has no arms! Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie!"

"My friend died from eating too much waterfowl I thought he had lived a good, happy life He told me that he was full of Egrets"

"I lied awake all last night waiting for the sun to come up... And then it dawned on me."

"Just spilled beer on my crotch, so to save myself from the embarrassment, I pissed my pants. Can't have people thinking I'm a sloppy drinker"

"If blind people wear sunglasses Shouldn't deaf people wear earmuffs?"

"I cried when my dad chopped up onions for his sandwich.. Onions was always my favorite dog..."

"What is the cheapest meat? Deer testicles. They're under a Buck."