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Joke of the Day
"Where does the Joker keep a record of his favourite shrubland areas? Heath Ledger."
Next Joke
"Just came back from the Zoo and saw a slice of toast in one of the enclosures. It was bread in captivity."
"*Slides a five across the bar* Bartender: Did you... Did you break this off our sign out front? Me: (Confidently) tap water please."
"""Daddy, where are all the bastards?"" Puzzled, I looked at my four year old son in the mirror. ""What do you mean?"", I asked him. ""Well, when mummy is driving there are bastards everywhere."""
"How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You Poke-m-on"
"I bought a new pair of polarizing sunglasses and was asking my friends what they thought of them. They seemed to either love them or hate them."
"""Money doesn't grow on trees"" is something rich people say so you won't find their money trees."
"Fun Fact: If you hear small kids running around laughing hysterically, within 2 min. at least one will be on the floor crying hysterically."
"Yesterday 9 asked what's the meaning of life and 6 punched him, but that was yesterday when I was on acid. Numbers don't usually talk to me."
"If Olive oil is made from olives - baby oil made from what? *is"