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Joke of the Day

"Me: hey squirrel, dnt steal d pigeon's food, the eggs are about to hatch S: u stole a cake frm ur roomate Me: Me: here, take the eggs too"

"Why do dogs lick themselves? Because they can!"

"A joke told by the mods of this sub. ""Long"""

"If i ever become a vet, I'm naming my clinic ""Bitches get Stitches."""

"""Son, I've found a condom in your room."" ""Gee thanks, Grandpa!"" ""Why are you calling me Grandpa?"" ""Because I couldn't find it yesterday."""

"What did one poop say to the other poop? You smell"

"""I missed you today."" ""Awwww I missed you too."" *both frantically reload dueling pistols*"

"Green men make me cross."

"An argument with my wife is like the gas pedal on a Prius. I can put my foot down, but I don't really expect much to happen..."

"My business card is just a moist slice of cantaloupe."