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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fat relative around Halloween? A plump-kin"

"I just ordered a door bell on Amazon... Shit, how am I gonna know when it gets here?"

"Why did the hipster seal die? He was clubbing too hard (its a horrible joke I know, please punish my lack of comedic genius)"

"Mom u can stop cutting the crust off my bread now im in a gang"

"October tenth is a day that I rate... 10/10"

"I bet even your farts smell good."

"i'm like a biiiird / i wanna shit on cars"

"That awkward laugh when they've said something innocuous, but you're thinking something incredibly dirty."

"A new zoo opened up in my town, but it only has one dog. It's a shih tzu"

"I tripped over my girlfriends bra.... I guess she planted a boobie trap."