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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a 12 yr old to cry twice? (x-post from comments) Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear. And I'm off to hell."

"""Every family on 2013 had 'quite the year'."" - study conducted using Christmas newsletters"

"How many rednecks does it take... I don't know exactly, but a shit ton."

"This popped into my head in class the other day... Why do professors like stats and physics students? Because they'll work for p naughts."

"Some people say I dream too much, I say it's just because my life is better than their dreams are."

"If you are an option, you are also an idiot"

"What have you got if your pet kangaroo gets into molasses and Indian curry? An Indian goo roo"

"You remember when you were a kid, you had tons of fun blowing bubbles in the bathtub? I saw Bubbles the other day, he told me to say ""Hi!""."

"Original physics joke. I'm very proud. I was organizing my desk the other day and the Entropy Police gave me a ticket for disturbing the chaos."

"The actress that played Anne Frank in the Anne |Frank story was so bad..... That the scene where the Nazis entered the stage and said ""where is she"" the audience shouted ""she's in the attic""."