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Joke of the Day
"Howabout plastic, reusable tortilla chips where you could just suck the guacamole off them?"
Next Joke
"When my kids ask what a word means, I tell them to bring me a dictionary. Then I smack them with it, and tell them to Google that shit."
"I've got my girlfriend working on her gag reflex... ...I haven't got a big dick or anything, she just throws up when she sees me naked"
"its shanksgiving, be thankful i havent stabbed u yet."
"Have you ever thought about the word racecar and how it's a palindrome? Put it backwards and it spells racecar, put it sideways and it kills Paul Walker."
"For your final meal request to eat the electric chair and then the warden will be like well now what do we do he ate our electric chair"
"Dad Dinosaur: Look son a shooting star make a wish! Angsty Teen Dinosaur: I wish it would hit us and kill us all."
"What did one earthquake say to the other? .... .... Was that your fault or mine?"
"I changed my mind Wife: I changed my mind... Husband: Does the new one work?"
"Whats faster than a speeding bullet? A Jew with a coupon"