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Joke of the Day

"I've got my girlfriend working on her gag reflex... ...I haven't got a big dick or anything, she just throws up when she sees me naked"

"So glad my boobs don't honk. Talk about a mood-killer."

"Why were the Twin Towers upset? They ordered pepperoni but they got plane"

"After a tornado tore through town, thankfully no one was hurt. The trees were stripped bare, though. God breathed a sigh of releaf."

"Doctor Doctor everyone keeps ignoring me. Next please!"

"Pointed out my kids real dad to them at the car wash today. None of us are sure if I'm kidding."

"Why does math class teach kids about Japan, Germany, and Italy? Because they learn about the x-axis."

"My daughter called me ""lame."" Let's see how ""lame"" she thinks I am when I pick her and her friends up from the movies in a BOAT"

"Doctor: ""You have lost a lot of blood."" Me: ""That's not good."" Doctor: ""It's not. You are the worst manager this blood bank has ever seen."""

"Dilemma: Your daughter brings home a guy with an Insane Clown Posse t-shirt on but your garden is already completely full of corpses."