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Joke of the Day

"A mayfly walks into a bar. The bartender asks: ""Why don't you fly?"" The mayfly responds: ""Because it's not May, you fucking idiot"""

"How many sociologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change."

"A woman is doing the dishes when the front door opens... ...and in walks Nicholas Cage."

"I like to go to the vet It's a lot cheaper than the doctor. The only shitty part is the thermometer"

"A gay couple decides to have some fun and play hide and seek... Jim: if you find me, I'll give you a blowjob! Mike: and if I don't find you? Jim: I'll be behind the couch."

"Why people use Twitter: because updating 100 times a day on Facebook is not socially acceptable."

"My wife kicked me out due to my obsession with rubbing different types of pasta. Im feeling cannelloni right now."

"Why wouldn't Samus go below Brinstar? Because she was a-Kraid to. Now I think about it, this joke is a bit more ""Riddle-y,"" than say an actual joke."

"Your mamma so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and came out with a job application!!"

"""What's better than a happy smiling baby?"" ""Personal freedom and disposable income?"" ""You make it really hard to talk to you sometimes."""