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Joke of the Day

"I like to go to the vet It's a lot cheaper than the doctor. The only shitty part is the thermometer"

"If he doesn't return your texts, it's because he's busy leaving his wife for you. Obviously."

"What's red and hangs from the ceiling? A red ceiling hanger! What's blue and hangs from the ceiling? [you reading this] I don't fucking know, a blue ceiling hanger? No asshole, they only come in RED!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Benin ! Benin who ? Benin hell!"

"German sausage Ain't it the wurst?"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopuss"

"Why Did the Ebola Patient Cross the Road? Trick question. There are no roads in Africa."

"What do you do to a chemist after they die? You Barium"

"Why does chav code never compile? They end every statement with init"

"My professor just told the WORST physics joke What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito? Nothing, cause you can't cross a scalar and a vector!"