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Joke of the Day

"MATH TEACHER: wanna come do the problem on the board? ME: no MT: i wasn't asking ME: if u were an english teacher you'd know that u were"

"My wife and I got into a heated argument. ""I met a man...but I married a boy."" she said, her face full of rage. I said, ""I guess the jokes on you then, paedo."""

"We wanted to bury our cat Ivy under our ivy but it was too thick to get through so we renamed it dumpster instead."

"Kanye West gets a bad rap... And then he makes it even worse."

"GURU: You have achieved the state of sakrdagamin: you will reach nirvana within seven lifetimes ME: [slipping him a $20] How about six"

"I was going to be a quarterback for Halloween at work... ...but my boss said we couldn't be anything offensive."

"I cooked a live Lobster in the microwave and now I have a giant mutant lobster in my living room demanding to watch The Little Mermaid."

"warning sign on children's alphabet blocks Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive."

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them"

"He tripped, and the laundry basket fell to floor, spilling clothes everywhere. I sat back and watched it all unfold."