91180
Joke of the Day
"What is it about being blind... ...that makes people want to walk their dog so much?"
Next Joke
"A Woman has an orgasm everytime she sneezes. Her friend is worried and asks, ""What do you take for it?"" She says, ""Pepper."""
"Me: So what do you do? Date: I work with animals Me: *imagining an office ran entirely by golden retrievers in suits* Your job sounds fun"
"[trying to buy pants] Clerk: Sir you need pants to shop here."
"When I change my son I don't use diaper cream, I use anti-wrinkle cream. He'll thank me as an adult with the smoothest balls in history."
"What was Jesus's least favourite exercise class? Pontius Pilates."
"What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos"
"If you can read this You're not Floyd Mayweather"
"INTERVIEWER: Do you have any hidden talents? ME: I taught myself how to play piano INTERVIEWER: By ear? ME: No, just with my hands"
"Mouse and elephant are on their way to the pool. *Told* *by* *my* *adorable* *niece.* Elephant: Bollox! I forgot my swim trunks! Mouse: Don't worry, I brought a spare."