147793

Joke of the Day

"I heard you can turn soup to gold... You just have to add 24 carrots"

"What sounds does a vicar's gun make? Pew! Pew!"

"I call my dick the truth... Because the Truth hurts... And you can't handle the truth."

"What do you call a Deer with... No eyes?: **No idea** No eyes and no legs?: **Still no idea** No eyes and no legs, having sex? **Still f*cking no idea** And where do you find it? **Where you left it**"

"Hump day without humping is significantly less fun."

"Birds sure seem pretty stupid until you see pigeon shit on a Hummer."

"Longest verb What's the longest verb in the English language? Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter."

"Wife A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone."

"How many goals did Germany score? gerMANY"

"What's the difference between snow tires and slaves? Slaves sing when chains are put on them. PS - im going to church today to beg for forgiveness"